Go sell crazy somewhere else

So, I finally had to renew my license yesterday. 10 years of the same 'stoned' looking 20 year old on my license is going in the trash. It will be replaced with a 'stoned' looking 30 year old. But this isn't about my inability to have my drivers license picture look like something out of GQ, it's about the crazy-ass people that inhabit this world.

You don't think there are THAT many crazies? Just go down to the DMV or the Social Security Office or pretty much any government office building and you'll find out how the sane people are actually in the minority.

You'll hear the 400 pound lady's every single breath. And then you'll hear her make grunting sounds and you'll swear that she's getting excited because she sees someone eating a Snicker's candy bar. Then she'll start digging through her purse, and you know that she's looking for her 'secret' stash. Which really isn't a secret because we can all see that she is 400 pounds. We expect that she will always have food within 3 feet of her at anytime.

There was a guy, probably in his late 60's or early 70's. He was surprisingly very physically fit, you know, for a 70 year old. But he didn't appear to be too mentally fit. He was sitting a few chairs away from me and kept mumbling to himself. Most of it, I could not understand. However, there was one sentence that I definitely understood and it has been on my mind ever since. I found it a little disturbing and made me think that maybe this guy isn't as mentally unfit as I first thought. The only thing I understood from this guy was this, and it is an exact quote, "there isn't going to be enough room in the freezer". Well, after I heard this, I saw this guy in an entirely different light. He was no longer the sweet old 70 year old that is slowly losing his mind. He became the creepy old 70 year old that is only losing freezer space because he can't stand disrespectful assholes like me. His glasses made his eyes look like someone who is crazy but knows exactly what they're doing. It was a little unnerving that every time I managed enough courage to look at him, he was looking at me and mumbling to himself. What could I do? I didn't want to end up in his freezer. So I'll stop looking at him. Have you ever tried to not look at someone that you know was certifiably crazy?? It can't be done. Go ahead, go to the DMV and pick out your own Crazy and try to not look at him. You'll find that you'll fail miserably.

DING! "Number 41"

Finally. Hurry up! Check my eyes! Take my money! Take the damn picture!

On my way out, the 400 pound lady's candy had fallen on the floor. I'll be damned if I'm going to stop to pick it up and give it to her. If there is one person in that room that didn't need candy, it was her. Besides, I'm about to be hacked into pieces.

I'm still in the prime of my life, right?

Ok, I understand that I can't do the same things at 30 that I could when I was 18. But I don't like it. Not at all. I feel like I should be able to do everything that I used to do, but I can't.

Last night I played a baseball game. I've always liked playing baseball and have considered myself quite good at the sport. Shortstop has been my position of choice. So I was playing yesterday and went for a ground ball and felt a twinge in my thigh. I didn't pull my hamstring but I did strain it and I'm going to have to beg someone to give me a massage and be careful with it for the next few days.

I remember a particular day back when I was 18. I woke up at 7:00 a.m. to go play some basketball. I played in this tournament for 8 straight hours. As I remember it, I hardly broke a sweat. Later that day I had a friend that asked me to play on their softball team, which I did. And finally, I had another basketball tournament to play in that night (this time only 2 games). I forgot to mention that before the softball game I ate an entire large pizza, myself. Then I went home and went to bed. Not exhausted. No sore muscles. It was just another day. Now, I play one baseball game and go for one grounder and I'm limping for 2 days.

I should be able to do what I used to at 18, right?

I guess not.

Although being 30 does have it's advantages. I have a house, a wife, a car, and can pretty much get anything I want.

Take that you stupid 18 year old!

Fantasy....whatever

So I was calculating the scores in my office pool March Madness tournament bracket and realized, yet again, that I will not win. Could someone explain to me why I feel the need to play these "pick 'em" games? According to my last count, I haven't won a thing...ever. A person might think with so many failures that I'd just give up. But didn't your dad ever tell you that quitters never prosper? Right now, that's all I have because it isn't any pride or money from my very intelligent and rational picks.

By the way, did you know that the baseball season started this week? It's my first attempt at Fantasy Baseball and I already have players on the Disabled List. I give up.

Football season starts in a couple months...

I guess it's a good thing that I don't follow sports too closely.

How did that happen?

I find it rather peculiar that one event can end up changing a life so drastically. Not a decision, an event. An event that you had no control over or any decision making options. An event that was unexpected but wasn't life altering at the moment. I'm not talking about a drastic event such as witnessing the murder of someone or the senseless brutality of others. I'm talking about small things that were never expected to happen. That weren't ever considered as being "life changing". However, five years later, you look back and see that almost everything that has happened to you since then, good or bad, stems from this event.
You might wish that it had never happened. What's the point of that? Wishing that something different happened in your life is quite useless. And would you really want that? Who's to say that your life would be much better without that happening to you? So, the here and now, that's what we have. That's what we should think about and deal with.
Live and learn. That's what my mom always said. Sometimes it's tough knowing which one is harder to do.

Who are you?

I was thinking how people have different perceptions of the same person. And no matter what you do, you ARE that person to them.
I have some friends that think I'm the meanest son-of-a-bitch in the world. They think that at any time, I'll snap and just start destroying people. But to A, I'm the nicest person in the world.
I know that a lot of this has to do with how you would like to be perceived. And some of it is situational. But if you would like to change who you are for these people, it's impossible. There is no way that you will be able to be a different person. I could become the Pope and if my friends came to visit me, they'd expect me to flip out on an idiotic Cardinal and want to beat the crap out of him.
I don't mind this anymore. In fact, I've embraced the roles that people expect of me. It actually makes life a little more fun since I have to be on my toes and become a different actor according to who I'm hanging out with.
I'll just stay real to A. She's the only one who I want to show the 'real me' to anyway.

Privacy

I was having a conversation with A the other day about how much information is OK to include in a blog or a profile online. I don't think it's that big of a deal to include names and places. What's the difference if you include the place you live and your name in a blog from the same information in a book that can be bought from Barnes & Nobles? For the most part, I believe the online world is pretty civil and responsible. Maybe that's a naive view that I have but I like to think that people are still good. Although I do see A's point that you can't be too careful nowadays. I don't really know what the right answer is, I suppose it depends on your experiences in life....

but for me, it won't really make a difference. I'm not counting on a lot of people coming across anything I write or say.

The Second Coming