Not Much of Anything

A Year Goes By...

2010-01-24T08:22:00.002-07:00

It's hard to believe that I've been married to a such a wonderful and great person for a year. She loves me and takes care of me and makes life fun. I love her and love to be with her and I'm always waiting to see what the next day brings.

I can't wait to see what this next year has in store for us and there's no one that I'd rather spend it with. You make me happy Emma, and I hope that I can always make you as happy.

I love you! <3

Softball - it's not soft.

2009-08-24T09:04:00.003-06:00

3 weeks.

12 games.

4 injuries.

Sometimes I forget that I can't do the stuff I used to be able to do.

Week 1 - I forget to wear my new cleats and wear my old ones. You know, the ones that feel like I'm running on concrete all the time. Since this first night, I have constant pain in my achilles. It's getting better though, little by little. Although you wouldn't be able to tell if you saw me trying to walk after getting out of bed in the morning.

Week 2a - I don't think I pulled it, but I gave a real good stretch to my hamstring. I mean REAL good. Like, I'm pretty sure I pulled it. Now with my achilles hurting and my hamstring not working correctly, I look as graceful as a swan when I'm running the bases. And if you're thinking "when you say graceful, do you mean 'contorted', and when you say like a swan, do you mean 'freak of nature'", then yes, I'm graceful as a swan.

Week 2b - I catch the ball at third to tag the baserunner and he steps on my glove, which smashes the ball into my fingers. I still can't make a fist without my ring finger hurting. Good thing I'm a lover and not a fighter and I never have a reason to make a fist :)

Week 3 - A grounder is hit to me. I get in front of it and it takes a bad hop and hits me right on my wrist. I had to leave the game because I couldn't grip a softball after that. I started to wonder after the game, "did that take THAT bad of a bounce or am I just too slow to react?" I'm still debating this argument with myself. (Don't worry, I got the runner out at second.)

Week 4 games start tomorrow, anyone want to start taking bets on whether I'll hurt myself again or not? I'm betting that I won't. But you have to give me 10 to 1 odds.

Adele Laughing

2009-08-07T16:21:00.004-06:00

I started to play peek-a-boo with Adele and she started cracking up. She's never laughed this hard before. She's awesome.

I Bet You Can't Eat That or That or That...

2009-06-17T08:20:00.004-06:00

So, everyone at my job threw in a dollar and bet me that I couldn't eat a bag of Lemonheads in an hour...without water. You might be thinking, "An hour for a bag of Lemonheads?! That would be easy!". That was my reaction too. I thought that this would be the easiest money I ever made.

I got about 20 Lemonheads down and realized that this might be difficult. So I decided that chewing them was taking too much time (not to mention it was making my tongue raw) so I decided to swallow them whole. That wasn't such a good idea because they are just big enough to get stuck going down. I stopped doing this after one of them almost made me throw up.

The picture was taken after I had eaten about 50 of them. I ate about 40 more before throwing in the towel. I didn't feel so good and knew that if I kept eating, I would definitely throw up. I was sweating, my tongue hurt like crazy, and my stomach was not liking what I was doing to it.

My co-workers have decided that this was quite fun for them so they have decided that Tuesdays will become "what will Ryan eat" days. They are already taking ideas for what next Tuesday will bring.

I figure that it should only take me 3-4 years of eating weird stuff on Tuesdays before I can save enough to get my motorcycle.

Time to Relax

2009-06-09T09:04:00.007-06:00

After a long day of work (for me) and a long day of eating and sleeping (for Adele - apparently it is very tiresome), we decided that we needed to sit down and watch some T.V.

Here I'm explaining the complexities of 24 and why Jack Bauer kicks butt.

Here is Adele explaining to me that if people would just let Jack do what Jack does, then it would be called 12.

Tonight is the basketball game, maybe she'll like watching that too.

Threes

2009-04-24T15:37:00.009-06:00

I guess it's true that good things happen in threes.

My life is VERY good right now.

My Baby

2009-04-06T17:30:00.001-06:00

After a few months of worry and being especially nervous for the last week of that, Adele was born on April 2nd.

Not only was she born, but she surprised everyone at how ready she was to be born. NICU was there, ready to hook her up to oxygen, an I.V. and put in a feeding tube. When we got to the NICU, the head of the department looked at her and told the nurses to put the oxygen away. She was crying quite healthily. She ate on the first try like she had gone half a day without food. She still had to have the I.V. but that was just to give her antibodies to fight off a potential infection, which she doesn't have (it is apparently standard to do when a baby is left in the womb after a rupture). No one can believe that she is only 34 weeks. There are still a few more tests to do over the next couple days, just to make sure she is still doing well.

She's perfect.

If I wasn't a man, I might have cried when I first saw her. But since I am a man, I didn't. I will admit that my eyes got a little wet though.

She weighed 5 lbs 6 oz.

10 minutes after being born.

Meeting her sister for the first time.

Things couldn't have gone better. Now I get to wake up every few hours in the middle of the night to a screaming baby and I couldn't be happier.

You WILL! Be Miserable

2009-03-09T16:45:00.002-06:00

And in one fell swoop, nature has told us to put the shorts and t-shirts back in the closet. I believe that I heard a BEYOTCH in there too.

My Humps (it's not what you are thinking)

2008-12-18T15:02:00.004-07:00

Emma showed me this video a couple weeks ago and I can't seem to get enough of it. I usually start a couple days of the work week by watching this video. It's hilarious. I like that it seems like she's making fun of the shallowness and simpleness of Fergie's song and kind of making fun of her own somber and hurtful style.

Enjoy...

Keep it Safe

2008-11-26T11:56:00.002-07:00

I'm not even sure what to say about this.

Of all the things that NEED a lock and key, I never would have assumed that a paper towel dispenser would be one of them. What has happened, in the course of humanity, to REQUIRE a lock on a paper towel dispenser.

I'm not sure if it is worse that someone thinks that there is a need to keep the paper towels safe...er (I say safer because really, they aren't safe at all. I could take every single towel if I wanted.) Or is it worse that there is a person out there that feels like they have been thwarted in their efforts to stockpile paper towels. It would seem that this human being is probably the laziest person in the world.

I find it funny that someone, somewhere, thinks that this is necessary.

I guess they were right when they said "it takes diff'rent strokes to move the world".

Hell hath frozen...

2008-11-14T11:59:00.005-07:00

No, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you. I was greeted by this sign on my way to work today. $1.99 for a gallon of gas!! Who woulda thought it could happen?

I remember, 6 months ago, filling up my car for $48. I fill up my tank now and it's $22. I think I'll take my savings and go invest it. Then I thought, "is it wise to invest when the economy is in the crapper. I've already lost a bunch with my 401k". So I did what any responsible person would do, I stopped at this convenience store and spent my savings on a 32 ounce Dr. Pepper and a donut.

Mmmm...savings never tasted so good.

You Don't Get to Choose Your Family

2008-07-27T18:52:00.005-06:00

I visited my parents and sisters this weekend. It was good to see them for a couple days. But let me give you a little advice: make sure you aren't tired when you go visit. If you take a nap, who knows what might happen.

We were hanging out in the living room, just talking, when I dozed off. The next thing I know is that there are three 2-year-olds licking my face. Apparently they think this is a great idea, especially when coaxed by two 50-year-olds, and about 3 or 4 20-somethings. The maturity level in my family is stunning. (I'll admit that if I was one of the conscious ones, I'd SO be egging them on.) And in case you aren't aware when a kid licks you, it isn't the most pleasant thing to experience.

Tiffany and Dan had a baby this last week. Welcome to the family Tyda, you have no idea what you've been forced into.

My Dealer

2008-03-21T09:35:00.002-06:00

Let me tell you something. The Girl Scouts know a thing or two about business. In today’s day and age of pushing your product out as fast and as big as possible, the Girl Scouts bide their time. They wait for that perfect moment once a year to push their crack…I mean cookies. They don’t dilute the market. They don’t have super sales. And their product can’t be bought in stores. But I wouldn’t be surprised in the month or two that they sell cookies, that they make enough money to last a person multiple lifetimes. They are geniuses.

So, I’m going to finish my box now. I don’t care if I did open only 3 minutes ago. This stuff is delicious.

Oh, and keep your fingers away. I would feel sorta bad if I had to break them off of your hand. Get your own damn box!

Lean, Mean....Out of Shape

2008-01-04T10:55:00.000-07:00

I’ve come to a sad realization…I’m old, and out of shape.

I’ve been saying that I was out of shape for months, maybe even years but I don’t think I really believed how out of shape I really am. It’s best way I can describe it is when a really hot chick keeps telling people that she’s ugly, but you KNOW that she knows that she’s hot. Except it’s backwards for me, I said I was out of shape but didn’t really BELIEVE that I was out of shape.

What can I say….sometimes I’m an idiot. I guess I didn’t realize that years of extreme web and channel surfing coupled with countless hours of computer and xbox gaming would make my muscles regress into a state of severe atrophy.

So, with the support of a friend of mine, I’m now going to the gym again. Although I might not go for another couple days to allow my body the time to recover from my recent workout. It’s not a New Year’s Resolution, it’s just a ‘better my life’ resolution. I think it’s very important for a person to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without being completely winded.

Hopefully this will work for me. At the very least, I’m going to the gym at least once a week. I hope to make it 3 times a week. And if I’m feeling especially ambitious, I might even start going every day. (Don’t worry about that though; I’m not much of an overachiever.)

So the next time you see me, I’ll be a lean, muscular, in-shape person.

But just in case I haven’t done as well as I thought I would do, let’s not talk about it, ok?

Halloween

2007-10-30T14:12:00.000-06:00

Ok. In my defense, it wasn't my idea. I was coerced, or if you know a word that is better that would indicate that I was forced against my will to do it. (It was actually pretty fun seeing the different reactions of my co-workers)

I'm just saying that next time, it'll take a substantial amount of money to get me dressed in anything resembling a skirt and giving myself a "B" cup.

Ali's Blog

Oh, and by the way, I totally kicked everyone's asses and won first place!

I give up on this species

2007-10-15T21:53:00.001-06:00

So there I was, minding my own business, being entertained by another rerun of Seinfeld. I just can't get enough of that show. I've probably seen each episode a handful of times and yet I still laugh each time I see them. 'Pinky Toe', 'Vandalay Industries', 'The Second Spitter'... I could go on and on. If you don't know what these mean, I suggest you go rent or buy the series and spend the next couple months getting yourself acquainted with these weirdos. Anyway, like I was saying, there I was, enjoying my evening and then a commercial came on which left me baffled.

Yes folks, Restless Leg Syndrome. It is unbelievable. I'm not sure what's worse, the people that think they actually have this or the people that have actually spent millions of dollars trying to make up a new syndrome.

I believe my response was something to the effect of "are you kidding me? Do you see this? What the hell are they talking about? Restless Leg Syndrome???!!! That's it, I can't take this anymore. We're looking for anything to bitch about these days!" (to find out the exact quote, please inquire about it with Ali)

And did you hear the side affects of the drug?? It may cause an urge to gamble. Huh?! Um, does Vegas know about this drug? It's only a matter of time before they start slipping these pills into their meals and drinks.

Anyway, I think this commercial has pushed me over the edge to purchase a TiVo.

By the way, I'm going to the Doctor tomorrow. I get this thing that happens everytime that I've been awake for 16 hours; I just can't seem to keep my eyes open and after I close them for a few minutes, I lose consciousness. This can't be healthy. I'm quite afraid that something terrible is going to happen. I hope the Doctor can help me out but I'm skeptical. I mean, this has been happening for years now.

Maybe next week I'll tell him that if I don't eat for 5 or 6 hours, my stomach kind of hurts.

Go sell crazy somewhere else

2007-06-19T06:12:00.000-06:00

So, I finally had to renew my license yesterday. 10 years of the same 'stoned' looking 20 year old on my license is going in the trash. It will be replaced with a 'stoned' looking 30 year old. But this isn't about my inability to have my drivers license picture look like something out of GQ, it's about the crazy-ass people that inhabit this world.

You don't think there are THAT many crazies? Just go down to the DMV or the Social Security Office or pretty much any government office building and you'll find out how the sane people are actually in the minority.

You'll hear the 400 pound lady's every single breath. And then you'll hear her make grunting sounds and you'll swear that she's getting excited because she sees someone eating a Snicker's candy bar. Then she'll start digging through her purse, and you know that she's looking for her 'secret' stash. Which really isn't a secret because we can all see that she is 400 pounds. We expect that she will always have food within 3 feet of her at anytime.

There was a guy, probably in his late 60's or early 70's. He was surprisingly very physically fit, you know, for a 70 year old. But he didn't appear to be too mentally fit. He was sitting a few chairs away from me and kept mumbling to himself. Most of it, I could not understand. However, there was one sentence that I definitely understood and it has been on my mind ever since. I found it a little disturbing and made me think that maybe this guy isn't as mentally unfit as I first thought. The only thing I understood from this guy was this, and it is an exact quote, "there isn't going to be enough room in the freezer". Well, after I heard this, I saw this guy in an entirely different light. He was no longer the sweet old 70 year old that is slowly losing his mind. He became the creepy old 70 year old that is only losing freezer space because he can't stand disrespectful assholes like me. His glasses made his eyes look like someone who is crazy but knows exactly what they're doing. It was a little unnerving that every time I managed enough courage to look at him, he was looking at me and mumbling to himself. What could I do? I didn't want to end up in his freezer. So I'll stop looking at him. Have you ever tried to not look at someone that you know was certifiably crazy?? It can't be done. Go ahead, go to the DMV and pick out your own Crazy and try to not look at him. You'll find that you'll fail miserably.

DING! "Number 41"

Finally. Hurry up! Check my eyes! Take my money! Take the damn picture!

On my way out, the 400 pound lady's candy had fallen on the floor. I'll be damned if I'm going to stop to pick it up and give it to her. If there is one person in that room that didn't need candy, it was her. Besides, I'm about to be hacked into pieces.

I'm still in the prime of my life, right?

2007-05-10T06:54:00.000-06:00

Ok, I understand that I can't do the same things at 30 that I could when I was 18. But I don't like it. Not at all. I feel like I should be able to do everything that I used to do, but I can't.

Last night I played a baseball game. I've always liked playing baseball and have considered myself quite good at the sport. Shortstop has been my position of choice. So I was playing yesterday and went for a ground ball and felt a twinge in my thigh. I didn't pull my hamstring but I did strain it and I'm going to have to beg someone to give me a massage and be careful with it for the next few days.

I remember a particular day back when I was 18. I woke up at 7:00 a.m. to go play some basketball. I played in this tournament for 8 straight hours. As I remember it, I hardly broke a sweat. Later that day I had a friend that asked me to play on their softball team, which I did. And finally, I had another basketball tournament to play in that night (this time only 2 games). I forgot to mention that before the softball game I ate an entire large pizza, myself. Then I went home and went to bed. Not exhausted. No sore muscles. It was just another day. Now, I play one baseball game and go for one grounder and I'm limping for 2 days.

I should be able to do what I used to at 18, right?

I guess not.

Although being 30 does have it's advantages. I have a house, a wife, a car, and can pretty much get anything I want.

Take that you stupid 18 year old!

Fantasy....whatever

2007-04-02T07:00:00.000-06:00

So I was calculating the scores in my office pool March Madness tournament bracket and realized, yet again, that I will not win. Could someone explain to me why I feel the need to play these "pick 'em" games? According to my last count, I haven't won a thing...ever. A person might think with so many failures that I'd just give up. But didn't your dad ever tell you that quitters never prosper? Right now, that's all I have because it isn't any pride or money from my very intelligent and rational picks.

By the way, did you know that the baseball season started this week? It's my first attempt at Fantasy Baseball and I already have players on the Disabled List. I give up.

Football season starts in a couple months...

I guess it's a good thing that I don't follow sports too closely.

How did that happen?

2007-01-04T07:38:00.000-07:00

I find it rather peculiar that one event can end up changing a life so drastically. Not a decision, an event. An event that you had no control over or any decision making options. An event that was unexpected but wasn't life altering at the moment. I'm not talking about a drastic event such as witnessing the murder of someone or the senseless brutality of others. I'm talking about small things that were never expected to happen. That weren't ever considered as being "life changing". However, five years later, you look back and see that almost everything that has happened to you since then, good or bad, stems from this event.
You might wish that it had never happened. What's the point of that? Wishing that something different happened in your life is quite useless. And would you really want that? Who's to say that your life would be much better without that happening to you? So, the here and now, that's what we have. That's what we should think about and deal with.
Live and learn. That's what my mom always said. Sometimes it's tough knowing which one is harder to do.

Who are you?

2006-10-12T08:53:00.000-06:00

I was thinking how people have different perceptions of the same person. And no matter what you do, you ARE that person to them.
I have some friends that think I'm the meanest son-of-a-bitch in the world. They think that at any time, I'll snap and just start destroying people. But to A, I'm the nicest person in the world.
I know that a lot of this has to do with how you would like to be perceived. And some of it is situational. But if you would like to change who you are for these people, it's impossible. There is no way that you will be able to be a different person. I could become the Pope and if my friends came to visit me, they'd expect me to flip out on an idiotic Cardinal and want to beat the crap out of him.
I don't mind this anymore. In fact, I've embraced the roles that people expect of me. It actually makes life a little more fun since I have to be on my toes and become a different actor according to who I'm hanging out with.
I'll just stay real to A. She's the only one who I want to show the 'real me' to anyway.

Privacy

2006-09-01T09:20:00.000-06:00

I was having a conversation with A the other day about how much information is OK to include in a blog or a profile online. I don't think it's that big of a deal to include names and places. What's the difference if you include the place you live and your name in a blog from the same information in a book that can be bought from Barnes & Nobles? For the most part, I believe the online world is pretty civil and responsible. Maybe that's a naive view that I have but I like to think that people are still good. Although I do see A's point that you can't be too careful nowadays. I don't really know what the right answer is, I suppose it depends on your experiences in life....

but for me, it won't really make a difference. I'm not counting on a lot of people coming across anything I write or say.

The Second Coming

2005-10-24T12:05:00.000-06:00

Never Leave For Vacation II

2005-10-20T15:28:00.000-06:00

Never Leave For Vacation

2005-10-20T15:26:00.000-06:00

Beginning

2005-10-20T14:52:00.000-06:00

More to come.